面海的／孩子

《脫下球衣後的生活》（Life After Basketball）

I’m retiring.

我要退休了。

I heard someone once say there comes a day when they tell us all that we can’t play anymore. We’re not good enough. Surplus to requirements. Too slow, maybe. When you’re a teenager with outsized dreams and a growing obsession, and someone tells you this ain’t gonna last forever, it’s scary. I never forgot it.

我曾聽誰說過：一定有那麼一天，我們都無法再打了。我們已經無法勝任：可能是能力已經不符需求了；也許是速度太慢跟不上了。當你是個滿懷遠大的夢想與逐漸茁壯的熱情的青少年時，有人對你說你無法一直這樣打球打一輩子，這實在令人震驚。我永遠無法忘懷。

So what did I do? Stayed obsessed. Set goals. Worked. Dreamed. Schemed. Pushed myself beyond what was normal orexpected. I looked at my hero, Isiah Thomas, and thought to myself, “OK, I’mnowhere near the player he is but if I get better every day for 5 or 10 years, why can’t I be as good as him?”

我該怎麼辦？繼續保持熱情、並且設立目標、繼續努力、繼續夢想、繼續計劃、把自己逼到超過平凡與預期的程度。我會看著我的偶像：Isiah Thomas，並對著自己想著「好，我現在離他還差得遠，但如果我每一天都持續進步，然後打個5到10年，誰說我不能跟他一樣厲害？」

The greatest gift has been to be completely immersed in my passion and striving for something I loved so much —visualizing a ladder, climbing up to my heroes. The obsession became my best friend. I talked to her, cherished her, fought with her and got knocked on my ass by her.

能夠完全沈浸在自己的熱情並且為了自己所愛的東西奮鬥是最美好的事──我搭上了往夢想的梯子，一步一步的接近我的偶像們。我的熱情成了我最好的朋友，我對她說話，我珍惜她，與她一起並肩作戰並，狠狠被她擊倒。

And that is what I’m most thankful for in my career. In my entire life, in some ways. Obviously, I value my kids and my family more than the game, but in some ways having this friend — this ever-present pursuit — has made me who I am, taught me and tested me, and given me a mission that feels irreplaceable. I am so thankful. I’ve learned so many invaluable lessons about myself and about life. And of course I still have so much to learn. Another incredible gift.

而這就是我生涯中我最值得感謝的事了。從一些角度看來，或許是整個人生也說不定。很明顯，我把我的孩子與家庭看得比比賽更重要，但從別的層面來看，擁有這個朋友，這個一直以來的追求，造就了我整個人。他不斷的教導我、測試我、給予我一個無法被取代的任務。我很感激這一切。我從中學到了如此多關於自己、關於人生的無價課題。當然，我還有很多事還要學，這又是另一個絕佳的禮物。

There are so many people who had a profound impact on me and who share in my successes. I can’t name them all, but I’d like recognize some.

有太多人在我成功的生涯占了重要的角色，或對我造成深刻地影響。我沒辦法一一提到他們，但我想我可以點出一些人。

Don Nelson insisted that I score. I always wanted to pass but he said, “It’s goddamn selfish when you don’t shoot.”Or, “If you’re a dominant fucking player — dominate!” He insisted that I be aggressive. That growth was a turning point in my career.

Don Nelson堅持要我得分。我總是把傳球擺第一，但他總說：「你不投籃實在是該死的太自私了」或「如果你是個他媽的關鍵球星，那你就給我見識看看！」他堅持要我保持侵略性。這個成長是我整個生涯的轉捩點。

Mike D’Antoni changed the game of basketball. There’s not many people you can say that about. No wonder I had mybest years playing for him. His intelligence guided him to never over-coach,complicate or hide behind the game’s traditions. He deserves a championship.

沒有幾個人能夠辦得到，但Mike D’Antoni改變了籃球比賽。怪不得我在他的麾下打出了最好的成績。他的才智讓他不會過度執教，也不會將球賽的精髓複雜化或搞砸。他值得一個冠軍戒。

When I dribbled by our bench as arookie on the Suns, Danny Ainge would say, “Take him!” with intensity and contempt in his voice. That was a huge vote of confidence for a rookie.

當我還是一個菜鳥，運球過我們太陽隊的板凳席時，Danny Ainge就會以鄙視及情感強烈的口吻說「搞定他！」這對於一個菜鳥球隊的自信是劑無比的強心針。

I remember when Dirk and I were nobodies. He used to say over dinner sometimes, “How are us two stiffs gonna make it in this league?” Somehow we made something of ourselves. After all the wins and all the great times we’ve had around the world together, what really means the most to me are the late nights early in our careers when we’d go back tothe Landry Center in Dallas, to play a few more games of HORSE and one-on-one. Dirk and the great city of Dallas got their championship, and I couldn’t be happier for them.

我憶起了與Dirk在聯盟裡還是無名小卒的時候。他有時就會在晚餐後說道：「什麼時候才輪到我們兩個傢伙在聯盟立足啊？」回想起來，我們還真的有了一番成就。在體驗過那些比賽的勝利以及我們在世界各地一起共享的美好時光後，對我來說最意義重大的，還是我們生涯初期的那些深夜，我們回到了達拉斯的Landry Center球場，多打了幾場HORSE以及一對一單挑。Dirk和他的偉大城市──達拉斯如願贏得了他們的冠軍盃，我真的太為他們感到高興。

Michael Finley was twice an All-Star in his prime, when Dirk and I were young guys on the Mavs. Michael never played in another All-Star Game, but our team went from last place to the Conference Finals under his watch. Do you know how rare that unselfishness is in our game? A true friend and teammate.

Michael Finley在他生涯最輝煌的時期榮膺兩度全明星球員，那時我和Dirk還只是小牛隊的年輕小夥子。Michael此後再也沒有入選全明星隊，但我們隊在他的挹注之下，從最後一名打到了西區冠軍賽。你知道那時我們比賽有多無私嗎？他是個真正的隊友與朋友。

I looked up to Jay Triano, a starguard on the Canadian national team, as a kid. He recruited me in high school and coached me in the Sydney Olympics. His love for the game and competitive nature was always infectious. I never had more fun playing for anyone. Representing Canada in the Olympics was the best experience of my career, and he got us there.

我年紀還小的時候景仰Jay Triano，加拿大國家隊的明星後衛。他在我高中時招募我並且在雪梨奧運時教導我。他對於比賽的熱愛與競爭意識感染了我。代表加拿大參加奧林匹克運動會是我職業生涯中最棒的經歷，我再也沒有在為誰打球時獲得更多的樂趣。而他帶領我到那。

Rick Celebrini had as big an impact on my career as anyone. Physiotherapist, sounding board, accomplice, coach, big brother. World class.

Rick Celebrini對我生涯的影響也不比任何人低。他是我的物理治療師、諮詢師、好夥伴、老大哥。他是世界等級。

Alvin Gentry coached the heck out of our teams. Underrated and sharp, he found the elusive line between coach, friend and disciplinarian. It was a pleasure to play for him.

Alvin Gentry真的把我們隊給帶起來了。他是個被低估而且相當聰明的人。他在身為教練、朋友及執行紀律身份之間取得良好的平衡。為他打球是個莫大的榮耀。

My sister is amazing. She has all the class and humanity you could ever dream for in a sibling. Her support is endless.

我姐實在棒極了。他擁有所有你對手足有所期待的特質。他給了我無盡的支持。

My brother and I battled it out inevery sport, in any space, at any time. We had amazing memories growing up and emulating our heroes in every sport, while we tried to one-up each other in every game possible. You’ll never be as good an athlete as me — but you were so close, bud.

我和我的哥哥會在任何運動上、在任何時間、任何地點較勁。我們擁有珍貴的成長回憶，當時我們試圖在任何比賽更勝對方一籌，且盡力追上我們在各個體育項目的偶像。兄弟，你沒辦法成為像我一樣好的運動員，但你已經很接近了。

My mom supported me endlessly. She encouraged me and I could do no wrong when it came to sports. She is tough as nails and I think she rubbed off on me a lot. Not everyone has a mom like mine and I hope she never feels like I’ve taken her for granted.

我的母親同樣給予我無限的支持。她給予我鼓勵且告誡我在運動上不能出錯。她是如此堅毅的女人，而我想我受他的耳濡目染下成長許多。不是每個人都有像她一樣的母親，而我希望她永遠能感受到我的感激。

My dad was an athlete who played semi-pro soccer. In the backyard or after games as a kid, he always applauded creative play. He always appreciated the unselfish. He never said, “Wow, three goals!” Instead he said, “Brilliant vision to see your teammate coming in behind the play,” or, “So unselfish to pass when you could’ve shot. That makes me proud.” I know that’s not normal and I’m grateful.

我父親也曾是個半職業足球員。當他還是個孩子時，在後院或比賽過後的時光，他通常為那些有創意的進球拍手叫好。他對於無私最激賞，他從不稱讚「哇！進了三球！」而說「在動作中擁有良好的視野，洞察隊友的行進」或「當你可以投的時候還能保持無私傳球，我便以此為榮」我知道那與眾不同，而我心存感激。

Jenny Miller has run my foundation for over 10 years, and she has never once left me or our mission exposed along the way. We’re childhood friends and her immense talent matches the trust I have in her.

Jenny Miller替我經營我的基金會超過10年了，且他從未背離我或我們的任務。我們從孩提時提就是朋友，而她洋溢的才華值得讓我信賴。

My junior high coaches, Lanny and Sheff, saw this ball of energy and passion for the game in me, and went way out of their way to foster that passion while reining me in a little. They started something.

我的中學教頭們，Lanny和Sheff看見了我對於籃球和比賽所投注的熱情與精力，並想盡辦法在帶領我的時候更加地凝聚它們。他們啓蒙了我一些什麼。

Ian Hyde-Lay, my high school coach,is as good a coach as I’ve ever played for. He taught me discipline, attention to detail and preparation. It still amazes me when he sends me an email about agame 20 years after high school saying I missed a box out with 8 min left in the 4th against Memphis. When I would re-watch the 4th quarter later, he was right. Details.

我的高中教練Ian Hyde-Lay是我人生中最好的教練了。他灌輸我紀律、對於細節的專注以及準備的重要。當他在高中的20年後依然傳給我一封e-mail，說到我在對曼菲斯灰熊的一場比賽裡第四節最後的8分鐘竟忘記了卡位，我實在被激勵到了，稍後當我去重看第四節的錄影，沒錯，他說對了。這是細節。

Ken Shields gave me a chance to practice with the Canadian national team when I was 16 years old because he saw something in me. Four years later, I was his starting point guard in the World Championships. I owe him.

Ken Shields僅僅因為從我身上看出了潛力，而曾給予當時才16歲的我和加拿大國家隊一起練習的機會。四年後，我擔任他球隊裡的先發控衛，並贏得世界冠軍。這是我欠他的。

I didn’t know at first, but my SantaClara coach, Dick Davey, pushed me so hard only because he thought I had it in me. He made me mentally strong. That toughness allowed me to keep overcoming and taught me to never give in.

我一開始並不知情，但我的聖塔芭芭拉教練Dick Davey曾如此狠操我的原因，竟是因為他認為我身上擁有無窮潛力。他練就了我心智上的堅毅。這種強悍使我能持續的克服難關，並提醒自己永不放棄。

Bill Duffy has been my agent the entire way. My big brother. He always had my back.

Bill Duffy在籃球的道路上一直都是我的經紀人。我的老大哥，他總是在我身後罩我。

What do they say about men with bighands? They have quick feet? A’mare Stoudemire had both — and he made me look like an artist at times. Thanks, big man.

有一雙大手的男人是怎麼樣的呢？有靈活速度的人呢？A’mare Stoudemire兩者兼具──而且他的運動能力讓我有時看起來像個球場上的藝術家似的。謝謝你，大個子。

It will always hurt that Phoenix Suns fans didn’t get the championship they deserved during our run. Yes, we had some bad luck but I always look back at it and think, I could’ve made one more shot, or not forced a turnover, or made a better pass. But I don’t regret anything. The arena was always sold out and rocking. It was the time of my life. Thanks, Phoenix.

沒能為鳳凰城這些球迷得到一座他們應得的冠軍盃是我們一路以來的痛。是的，我們沒有那麼幸運，但我時常回首並反省，如果我當時能投進更多球、或少失那幾次誤、或者來一個更漂亮的傳球，是否結果就不一樣了？但我沒有任何後悔，這個球場總是滿座而且令人振奮。這是我人生重要的時刻之一，謝謝你，鳳凰城。

When people ask me if I have a favorite game or play or moment on the court that stands out the most, I can’t answer them. It all blends into one. What comes to mind are all the great teammates I’ve played with and the friends I’ve made through the years. Guys like Al Whitley, Chris Isherwood, Jason Sedlock, Drew Zurek, Rowan Barrett, Andrew Mavis, Rex Chapman, Leandro Barbosa, Raja Bell, Grant Hill and Rob Sacre. Nothing beats the times we’ve had through the years and that’s what I’llremember most.

當人們問起我是否有一場最愛的比賽，或者場上的進球或時刻時，我常常無法回答他們。這些都成為我生命中的一部份。我想到的則是一路上並肩作戰過的那些隊友，以及這些年來結交的那些好友。像Al Whitley, Chris Isherwood, Jason Sedlock, Drew Zurek,Rowan Barrett, Andrew Mavis, Rex Chapman, Leandro Barbosa, Raja Bell, GrantHill and Rob Sacre那些人。我們一起經歷的那些歲月是最美好的，而我會永銘於心。

The Phoenix Suns training staff (or Training Room Mafia) always called us on our BS. They kept me on the court and kept me sane. Man, we had some damn good times.

鳳凰城的訓練團隊（或稱作重訓室黑手黨）常常用場上的數據(?)給予我們提醒。他們助我維持狀態，並幫助我保持理智。嘿，我們有過的那些時光還真不賴。

When I signed with the Lakers, I had big dreams of lifting the fans up and lighting this city on fire. I turned down more lucrative offers to come to L.A. because I wanted to be in the “fire,” and play for high risk and high reward in my last NBA chapter. In my second game here, I broke my leg and nothing was the same.

當我和湖人隊簽約時，我曾有遠大的夢想，用籃球點燃球迷以及這城市的熱情。因為這個念頭，我拒絕了更優渥的邀約而到了洛城，在我NBA的最後篇章打出高風險高報酬的球風。不過在我第二場為湖人隊出賽卻傷了腳，這一切都再也不同。

Last spring, when I returned to the court, I was given a standing ovation at Staples Center. It was a dark time in my career and that gesture will be one of my best memories. There’s been a lot of negativity online, but in my nearly three years in L.A., I’ve never met anyone who didn’t show me anything but love and support for my efforts. There’s a lot of class in Lakerland, and the organization and staff have given me unwavering support.

去年春天我重返球場，StaplesCenter給予我整場的熱情歡呼，那是我生涯黑暗時期中的最好回憶之一。那時我在網路上表現得很負面，但在我在洛杉磯的近三年期間，每個人無一不以愛與支持面對我。Lakerland(?)的球迷們都很好，整個湖人隊與工作人員也都給予我不離不棄的支持。

Fans around the world have shown me so much appreciation throughout the years, it’s unbelievable. Going out to shoot hour after hour, day after day as a kid, I never sought or dreamed of the amount of support and love people have shown. It’s been a huge source of motivation and inspiration. Thank you eternally.

來自世界的各地球迷這些年也對我展現了許多感激與耐心，真不可思議。從年少這樣出門投了幾小時的籃，日復一復過去，我從未尋求或夢想著這些人會給予我如此的支持與愛。這是何等的動力與激勵。我永遠的感謝你們。

My girlfriend, Brittany, has stuck by me tirelessly through the hardest times in my life. I know I drove her crazy internalizing everything as she lost me to my battles. 

我的女友Brittany從不厭倦地在我最困難的時間陪伴著我。每次當我陷入與自己的天人交戰時，都讓他由衷的擔心得快發瘋了。我知道。

Without her love things would still be pretty dark.

沒有她的愛，這一切都會變得難以忍受。

I will likely never play basketball again. It’s bittersweet. I already miss the game deeply, but I’m also really excited to learn to do something else. This letter is for anyone who’s taken note of my career. At the heart of this letter, I’m speaking to kids everywhere who have no idea what the future holds or how to take charge of their place in it. When I think of my career, I can’t help but think of the kid with his ball, falling in love. That’s still what I identify with and did so throughout my entire story.

我很有可能不再打籃球了，這非常的苦樂參半。我已經開始深深地想念比賽了，但我也同樣地對於能開始學習其他事物感到興奮。這封公開信是給那些所有關心我的職業生涯的人們。在這封信的最深處，我想向那些各處還不確定自己未來或如何掌握自己人生的孩子們說：當我回想起我的生涯，我忍不住想起當初那個拿著他的籃球並為此陷入瘋狂的小男孩。至今我始終能夠清楚憶起那個畫面，而它也是我整個人生故事的核心。

Lastly, Lola, Bella and Matteo, you’re the center of my universe. All my focus and energy is here for you guysand moving forward, I couldn’t think of anything more exciting or rewarding.

最後，Lola、Bella和Matteo，你們是我全宇宙的中心。我的目光與精力現在只放在你們身上，與你們一同向前，我想不出還有比這更令人興奮激動的事了。

【Steve Nash退休聲明稿｜原文刊載於The Players' Tribune】